Daily Insight: Making Sense of Humans

I believe everyone has a good reason for the things they do. Their reason may only make sense in their own mind, but the driving force behind their decisions makes good sense to them. I believe this and I try to remember it in traffic and while watching the news.

Humans aren’t as complex as they seem. A simple formula explains a process we all go through thousands of times a day. When we watch ourselves closely, we can see this formula come to life:

1. We experience something. Let’s use the example of someone sneezing near us.
2. A thought or deep belief is activated in us. When someone sneezes, we might think “Oh gee, they’re sick. I don’t want to get sick.”
3. Our thought or deep belief generates an emotion. I feel afraid of getting sick, worried about catching something.
4. We have an automatic physical reaction. My muscles tense and I start looking for a way to put distance between myself and the sneezer.
5. We have an opportunity to make a thoughtful response considering the first four steps. I excuse myself politely and move away.
6. We have a new experience. Now I’m over here and have new things to think about.

The magic of this formula becomes evident when the same experience elicits a different thought. It shows how powerful our thoughts and deep beliefs can be.

1. Someone sneezes near me.
2. I think, “Oh wow, someone has allergies. What a bummer for them.”
3. I feel frustration in empathy because I also have allergies and have been sneezing a lot.
4. My face shifts into an expression of concern.
5. I find a pack of tissues in my bag and offer the person one.
6. They smile and thank me, I feel good and the interaction continues.

Here is a different example to illustrate the influence of a deep belief.

1. I see a spider in the garden.
2. My history has me convinced that all spiders are deadly.
3. I feel instant terror.
4. My body goes into flight mode and I drop everything and run away.
5. I stay inside and call an exterminator and refuse to go back outside until all the spiders have been eradicated.
6. Now I’m stuck in the house.
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This formula highlights the power of our thoughts and deep beliefs over the decisions we make and the actions we take. People whose actions aren’t producing the desired results may benefit from exploring their thoughts and beliefs, the feelings they produce, and the reactions and responses they make as a result.